Many moms struggle with feeling lesser-than, if they aren’t putting their all into a career, or if they take a pause altogether to be a full-time mom. I too struggled with comparing myself to working moms when I was raising my kids.
I’m sharing below an excerpt from a very personal interview by my friend, Neha Ruch of Mother Untitled, who wanted to know more about the ups and downs of my last 25 years – – taking a pause from paid employment, to raising 2 children and finding contentment and creativity along the way.
I’ve never been one to do the same thing for a long period of time. I worked in a number of creative industries. When I got pregnant with my first child – 25 years ago! – I was the marketing director for a music production company. I’d been there for five years, and I knew that I would want to devote more time to being a new mom. So that first choice, the one to leave my job, was an easy one. And I was fortunate to be able to make that decision.
I often think about how different the landscape was for moms when I was raising little ones. The opportunities to work from home were limited, but there wasn’t the pressure to do so either. There were times where I would compare myself to a mom friend who was a doctor or one who had four kids and worked part-time, but honestly, I loved being a full-time mom. I enjoyed the daily tasks of feeding, playing, changing diapers, taking my kids to their classes, to the park, observing them see things for the first time, interact with others, learning, etc. There were certainly times when I was thrilled to have some help, but I found joy in the little things and felt like I was experiencing parts of life and the exploration of it again through my children’s eyes.
Once my children were in school, I was able and ready to devote some time to projects and organizations in my community that used my business brain and where I could make a difference. And I was sure to engage with my kids about what I was involved with at the time.
My children are now 21 and 24. As empty-nesting was approaching, I realized that the 20 years with them at home was indeed just one of the many chapters of my life. While I was in the thick of it, I didn’t think about it that way. I had no idea that I would create a thriving business, write a book, and be regarded as a parenting expert.
I hope you, the reader, will recognize that you are also in a chapter, and as you watch your children grow and evolve in ways that will continue to surprise and delight you, know that your life will do the same.